


Someone Who Cares

by kilala2tail



Category: Free!
Genre: Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Gen, One Shot, Pre-Relationship, Suicidal Thoughts
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-09-19
Updated: 2014-09-19
Packaged: 2018-02-18 00:33:44
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,562
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2328740
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kilala2tail/pseuds/kilala2tail
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"If he was to pick a way to die, he could think of worse ways than allowing the liquid he loved so much to embrace him fully. Of course, that was if the impact or the cold didn't take him first." </p><p>In which late night swims are not recommended and warm drinks are suggested.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Someone Who Cares

“Why is it so hard to find someone who cares about you…? When it’s easy enough to find someone who looks down on you…”

A soft voice, low and cool, drifted through the chilly night air.

There may have been a few mistakes to grace the world out of Canada’s cold lands, but the rock band whose song was stuck in his head could not be considered one of them, he decided as he stared down at the icy water running under the bridge.

Blue eyes studied the fast running rapids with a sense of calm he hadn’t felt in a long time. Short black hair fluttered around his face as he leaned against the railing and thought.

_I wonder if it would be painful, to be taken by the water. Maybe it would be like swimming._

He tilted his head as he considered it. Wouldn’t take much, just to let the water take him. If he was to pick a way to die, he could think of worse ways than allowing the liquid he loved so much to embrace him fully. Of course, that was if the impact or the cold didn’t take him first.

There was no one around as he climbed onto the railing. Swinging his legs forward, the boy sat down and leaned slightly towards the river, holding on to one of the thick wires holding the suspension bridge. For a moment, he wondered who had the brilliant idea of making it so easy to slip up and over the guard before shaking his head and closing his eyes. Voices of memories started to drift through his mind.

_“Aww, I’m so jealous! Nanase always gets the top of the class!”_

_“I bet his parents pay the school.”_

_“Or he bribes the teachers himself, if you get what I mean.”_

_“I heard he’ll do anything, for the right price.”_

_“Hey, water freak! Get out of the way, some of us normal people want to swim too!”_

_“How is he so fast? The loser doesn’t practice as actively as us, doesn’t even try. It’s not fair.”_

_“So, Haruka, is it true you try to live up to your girly name by being on the receiving end every time?”_

_“What, so you think you’re better than me? Is that why you won’t speak up?”_

_“His eyes are always so cold. Why does he act to distant to everyone? Is it so hard to be nice?”_

_“My neighbors say they heard he’s always been stuck up, even when he was a brat hiding behind his mother.”_

More and more, the voices went around in his head. The whispers got worse and worse, always just loud enough for him to hear. Haruka shook it slightly as he opened his eyes to look below him once more.

It was always the same, no matter what. Three times had his family moved due to his father’s work, and each time rumors spread around the school before anyone could even give him a chance. All it took was a couple of test scores, a few trips to the pool, an art class or two, and people would be talking about him.  About how “special” he was, and how much of a prick it made him.

He supposed it was just easier for them to judge based on that than to try to worm their way past his cold front, the best self-defense he had learned over the years.

His parents never knew. As long as he was good, he was left to his own devices. Haruka didn’t cause trouble, didn’t have bad grades, and had a good head on his shoulders. As far as they were concerned, that was all that mattered. He didn’t offer the information, but they never asked.

The last time they moved, about two years before, they had left him behind. _“You can take care of yourself now, right? You have to start thinking of university, of the future,”_ they had said as they packed. _“Don’t worry, your grandmother left enough to your name to pay for living expenses. We’ll wire you every couple of weeks, too, just to be sure you don’t starve yourself. Behave, now.”_

He missed his grandmother. She was the one person who made things tolerable. She had always been as bright and warm as the sun. No matter what, she had a story to share, or a new recipe for them to try together, or a small gift she had picked up while she was out. She was the one he felt he could be open with, the let the stress of the day go with and to just relax. His parents were never home, yet she was always there to welcome him. But, she was gone now, and he was alone.

Friends were a foreign concept. Nobody bothered to get close to him, to try. Not that he tried, either. But, it might be nice. To have someone who’d listen, since his grandmother was no longer around to talk with. It was hard, though, to try to open up when all his life he had shut himself away to try to avoid pain.

The future, they had said before leaving. What future? He didn’t have any goals, any dreams.

The school seemed to think he did. _“Look at this, our own prodigy. You’ll do great things, with that swimming of yours.”_

His parents, too. “ _Your grades are perfect, Haru dear! I knew it was a good idea to leave you to your studies. Remember, the top universities are waiting.”_

He didn’t think he was depressed. Not really.

It wasn’t that he was completely unhappy. He had his stray, a tiny little kitten he found and nursed to health. She was always there when he came home from his cram school, ready to play and be loved on. His grades were still good, and the whispering was the worse of any bullying. He could swim, and even scored good enough times to keep his coaches happy.

But…

He felt empty.

He didn’t want to be a puppet, didn’t just want to play the part of the stringed boy allowing other to control his life.

Yet, up to that point, it seemed to be all he knew. He got good grades for his teachers. He scored good times for his coaches. He applied to good universities for his parents. He took cram school classes because his school counselor told him it would be good for him.

Seventeen years, and he didn’t know who he was.

He didn’t know what to make of himself, when left truly on his own.

Looking at the river now, though, in the dead of winter as the stars shone bright, he felt at peace.

 _Maybe it would be quick_ , he thought. Just slip forward a few centimeters, and let go.

“Why is it so hard to find someone who can keep it together when you’ve come undone? Why is it so hard to find someone who cares about you…?”

He muttered more lyrics, letting them float away on a puff of air.

“Maybe you just haven’t looked in the right places,” a warm voice said from behind him.

Startled, Haruka turned around to see who had spoken. What he saw was a tall boy he thought he recognized, standing on the sidewalk before the bridge near him. His olive hair was peeking out from a knitted hat, bright green eyes standing out from beneath his bangs. With a small smile, the boy started walking towards him.

“It’s nice to formally meet you. I’m Makoto Tachibana. I sit beside you at the local cram school though I don’t believe we go to the same high school,” the male said as he leaned against the rail, right next to where he sat.

“…Haruka Nanase,” was all he offered, turning back to look at the river once again.

“It’s a pleasure, Haruka,” Makoto stated, warmth clear in his voice as he looked up at the sky.

For a few minutes, neither spoke. Blue eyes stayed fixed below while green looked above.

He felt more than saw when the same green eyes that had been looking at the stars with such fixation turned to look at him instead. Sighing, he glanced over to confirm that the boy was indeed just staring at him now.

“…May I help you in some way?” he asked, tone cool as the air as he stared right back at the warm smile that seemed so out of place in the cold night.

“Well, if I’m to be honest I was wondering why you’re sitting here. As pretty as the river is tonight, it’s getting late, and personally I’d be more comfortable sitting at a café with some hot cocoa on a Friday night than on the edge of a bridge railing.”

Haruka sighed softly, looking away. Is that what it looked like he was doing? Just admiring the view? “I was wondering what it might be like to fall. Surly there are worse ways to die, right?”

Green eyes widened at his answer. “And why would you wonder that? You weren’t planning on finding out, were you?”

He tilted his head at the panic he heard in the other’s voice. “And if I was?” he asked, leaning forward just a touch more, grip tightening on the wire. “What business of yours would it be?”

“What business?” Now the boy sounded startled, and more confused than Haruka could comprehend. Why was he so worried about someone he had never spoken to before? A bleeding heart, probably.

“Ha ha ha…” Makoto let out a nervous laugh as he studied the one on the railing. “Well, considering I had every intention of asking if you’d like to join me to the before mentioned café for a while, I suppose it would be in my interest to try to persuade you out of such a move, wouldn’t it?”

Oh. Well, that hadn’t been the answer he had expected. Narrowing his eyes, he looked to his right where Makoto was standing. “And if I said I had no intention of getting down in any way besides forward…?”

He completely froze as he saw what happened next.

Makoto’s face paled slightly, teeth sinking into his bottom lip. Green eyes widened, than narrowed. Then, with shaking hands and a shakier voice, he stated, “I suppose I’d have no choice but to join you, instead,” before lifting himself up onto the railing and sitting down.

Haruka’s eyes flew wide as he stared. The boy next to him must be crazy, he decided. Swallowing once to try to keep his voice still, he shook his head. “You look like you’re about to be sick.”

“I may or may not be very fond of heights. Or the thought of a late night swim in the river,” came the nervous reply, bright eyes now glued to the water below.

“So get down,” he managed, keeping his tone flat.

“Only if you’ve decided that hot drink sounds better. If you’re more a coffee person, I hear the mocha is amazing,” the other managed to say with his smile back in place, though it was wobbly, his voice still shaking.

Haruka took his time to consider the strange male next to him. Stupidly ( _bravely_ ), the boy had made the choice to sit on the bridge with someone who was practically a complete stranger instead of being chased off by icy answers that normally would have had a person give up on him by now.

Softly, he opened his mouth. “I prefer tea, actually.” He shook his head slowly, searching for answers in a pale face.  

As if reading his mind, Makoto slowly turned to look at him. Then, even slower, he allowed a soft, bright smile to cross his face. “I rather enjoy a nice green tea latte. Would you care to try one?”

He kept staring. This person made no sense. Why did he keep bringing up this stupid café? What difference did it make to him if Haruka decided to let himself fall? Why was he sitting up here, making ridiculous declarations of falling with him? Why did he care? Without meaning to, he whispered that very question.

“Why?”

He felt his face warm slightly almost instantly, realizing what he had just done. Avoiding the probing stare of Makoto, he turned once more to stare at the river. The calming feeling washed over him at once, and he let out a sigh. As the other male had yet to say anything, Haruka figured he might as well finish the thought. “Why is this so important to you all of the sudden? Why me?”

There was a moment of quiet between them. And then Makoto spoke.

“Because I couldn’t live in a world without you, Haruka.”

He paused, letting that hang between them for a second as Haruka held his breath and whipped back to face him. Suddenly feeling embarrassed, Makoto turned to look at the moon before continuing.  “Because, I want to get to know you. I want to get to know the beautiful boy that sits next to me at my cram school. I want to learn to understand the quiet person who always seems so far away even when they’re so close. I want to get the chance to see if that person’s swimming is a mesmerizing as I’ve heard.”

Green eyes slid closed as blue ones stayed trained on a pale face. “I want to talk to the one that is curious as to what falling from a suspension bridge is like. I want to understand what lead them to wonder what that’s like.”

Makoto drew a shuddering breath. “This is important to me, because I know what that curiosity is like. I know where it can lead. This is important to me because you’re a part of my world now, Haruka. You have been since I first saw you in class, and I don’t think I could live in it if you disappeared in front of my eyes. This is important to me because it’s you. Because you’re more important than you seem to think. Because farewells are too sad, and leaving in such a way is too lonely.”

The words stilled after that, leaving them both strangely out of breath.

Haruka didn’t know what to say.

He finally turned away, turned towards the stars above this time.

The boy next to him really was stupid, really was brave. He didn’t understand it.

“…Haru.”

“Huh?”

“Haru is fine.”

Both turned to face the other now, eyes roaming the other’s face, searching for something.

“Haru it is, then,” Makoto whispered.

He wanted to understand it.

And, maybe, this time someone would understand him, too.

Makoto gave him a soft smile before climbing down. A hand reached towards him, the smile not wavering as gentle green eyes met suspiciously shiny blue ones.

“Shall we go get that cup of tea, Haru? You look chilled to the bone. And I would love to lend an ear, if you’d like.”

He hesitated, just for a moment. The icy river still rushed below, willing to welcome him in its cold embrace. Now that the stupid boy was down, it would be so very easy to just… Let go.

The hand he took was warm.

“I… I think I would like that very much, Makoto.”

**Author's Note:**

>  **Imagine that person A of your OTP is suicidal. They are about to jump off a bridge or something when person B notices them and climbs over next to them. Person B convinces them not to take their life by saying that if person A jumped, they would jump after them, because they can't live in a world without person A.  
> **  
>  (Bonus feel points if this is the first time your OTP meets) 
> 
>  
> 
> Don't even ask me what just happened. Because I'm not really sure myself.  
> Actually, no, that's a lie. That prompt happened. And it would not leave me alone.  
> In my defense, it was one of my first attempts at writing for these darling characters, and it was late when I finished. (Allergy medicine did not help.) So I'm really sorry if it seems wildly OOC or anything.  
> Also. Rushing is one thing I hate most and one thing I'm best at. Hence changing the ending three times.  
> And am I the only one that didn't realize Three Days Grace was Canadian? Yes? Okay.  
> On that note, I would love to hear thoughts. Good, bad? Love it, hate it? I'd be happy to hear why.  
> Thank you for your time. I hope it was worth it!  
> -Cross posted on FF.net-


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